cOnFessiOns of a ShopAhoLic a.k.a BebEhGuRL!;p

nEw cHaPteRs..diFfEreNt ePisOdEs..

2005-09-18T03:14:00.000-07:00

~wEeKeNd paYdaY! wOohOo!~
sept.17,2005;saturday

last week's the craziest. hehe!! kiddin'! it's been a nice week , all because of the payday!!!=) work-slash-training is ok, more free time than discussion. so i havent felt sleepy even if i only have few hours of sleep. im enjoyin' the company of my wavemates-slash-new found friends!=) anyway, for the last couple of days, well, since we had our pay, it's been our after-work habit to have breakfast at mcdo! it used to be just me, rizza & sheila but then dumami na kme! hehe! last friday, we had dinner at gerry's grill in ATC. as usual, im late again! blame it on morning's heavy traffic plus non-stop rain,i arrived home at almost 12 & have few hours of sleep! so there, i only have few pictures but i had the best tym of my life! hehe!

*sigh* i still couldnt believe im workin', i even cant believe that im holdin' in my hands now my pay! i know, im bein' sentimental! cant help it, it's my first real job! im soo soo blessed meeting wonderful people(my wavemates), a nice job, what more could i possibly ask for?! hmmm... a love life!hehe!=) whatever!=)

gotta boUnce!=)

~..hOpe this is nOt a drEaM..~
sep.12,2005;monday

di ako mkatulog! waaah!!! addict sa internet kc! waaah!!!

damn,i miss HIM!!!
oi,paramdam ka...
u're so close, but still a world away! *sigh*
ang mga taong may TAMA nga tlga oh..
lumilipad ang utak..

imagine.."DISCLOSURE" lng di ko pa nsagot knina,patay na nman ako sa consequence mmya! wala akong kadala-dala! sayaw na nman cguro toh!

sna nman hindi ako nananaginip...pls...

song of mymp:

tlga nman..nkakabighani..
tlga nman..nkakagulat..
nkapagtataka,pagkat nsa isip..
nkakapanghinayang,sna maulit..

*tlga nman, nkakabigo
tlga nman, nkakalungkot!

KUNG KELAN PA MALAPIT NANG MAHULOG ANG LOOB..
SAKA KA LUMISAN SA AKING PAGTULOG..

panaginip, nkakabaliw..
nkikita nga, di nman ntatanaw!
talaga nmang hanggang doon na lang
ang pag-ibig na sana'y alay sayo'y...
talaga namang di na matutuloy! =(

emo na nman jho! tama na!=)
hirap ma-in luv..lalo pa kung hindi mo alam kung mahal ka ba nia..hehe! hinay hinay lang jho! =)
haaay..sna, di tlga ako nananaginip! sna totoo to! sna msabi mong gusto mo din ako..sna,hndi lang ako ang nkakaramdam nito! sna hindi ka panaginip! =)

++eNdingS & bEginNinGs++
sept.6,2005;tuesday

cant believe it's our last day of CCT. *sob* =)

we got a lot of free time. the good thing was our celebration, we ordered pizza & chicken. some brought along food like goldiluck's buttered puto and macaroons *yummy* and buko pie as well. then we took pictures..haha!! lots of pictures. we had our class picture with mac too..=) the good news is that we had the 10pm to 6am shift for PST. haha,lucky us!=)

after our training, mishy & i went to johnmil at malate. we waited for kim there & of course kantahan to the max! dami ngang tao, may nagcelebrate kc ng birthday dun. hayy, totoy bibo ever! ang laswa!=) pero basta super enjoy. funny thing is that,somebody asked for my number, pampam! kim saved me,big tym!=) then we went home na! haaaayy! cyempre i wasnt able to sleep agad. went online pa! =) i slept at around 7:30. i dont know, i just passed out at here in the living room. the moment my back touched the sofa, Zzzzz's! =)

sept.8,2005;thursday

it's almost 8 in the morning. just got home at around 7:15. haha..it's our first day of PST training today,oops make that last night.. cos our shift started at 10 in the evening then ended at 6 am today. not yet sleepy so went online. the 1st day of training's fine. we got nothing much to do. most of the tym kwentuhan lang w/ mishy & rizza..our trainer meg discussed the house rules. i had lunch w/dia, meddie and marie. we went to the floor, kwentuhan with the pioneer batch (wave1), tnignan lang nmen kung ano gngawa nila. hehe! they're nice nman! then for all we know, uwian na!=)

soo,.,i gotta catch some Zzzz's! a bit sleepy already!=)

ciao!

~wHen iT rAinS, it pOuRs!~
sept.5,2005;monday

im soooo happy!!! i passed the CCT training. *whew* before Mac,our trainer, announced the result, i was really nervous, actually all of us are nervous. you could feel the tension in the room. Mac explained that if all of us passed, she'd announced it right then and there, BUT if one or more failed, she would have to do it one by one. In our case, she said that.. she would have to do it one by one. So the tension grew stronger only for Mac to announce that she was just kidding and all of us made it! i dont know why but that moment, i was really teary-eyed! seconds later i was crying, haha..maybe because of relief, in plain words just tears of joy! i was even happier when i got my scorecard, cos all the while i was thinking that im not doing good in the training but turned out i got a fairly high mark of 92.50%! i cant believe that our group have only one day left for CCT at makati. *sob* i'll surely miss that insular building, and those crazy elevators! haha! i'll miss our trainer, Mac, cos she's soo nice & funny! i do hope our trainer at PST would be as nice & funny as her. i've never been bored all throughout the training cos of her. i've enjoyed the training soo much i'm really gonna miss it like hell..=c i'll miss our room (super lamig! *shiver*); the pantry; the vendo machine, that has lots of tofiluk & junk foods, really took care of our grumbling stomach! and the free COFFEE,,weeeh!! im not gonna miss that cos for sure there's free coffee at Alabang also! *wink* anyway, i dont wanna get mushy (as if!), i'm just soo happy.. truly..when it rains,it pours! i just feel soo blessed! thanks God, i gave it all back to you!=)

excited for the PST!!!*yipeeh*

ta-ta for now!=)

~sTrOngEr!~
august 29, 2005 ; monday

not another monday. 2nd week of CCT. my day started out just fine. my best friend, mishy, made me wait for an hour at las piñas' city hall. only to find out that there's no office today because it's a goddamn holiday! it's was uber hot & there i was, waiting, thinking, mumbling to myself where she was. then when she finally arrived, we headed to paseo, grab a bite @ mcdonald's & off to work we go.=) it sounded boring. well that's because i wasnt tellin' you yet about the exciting part. since we're on our 2nd week of training we had our 1st OPE (oral proficiency exam). it was easy actually. you pick a card, you think about the question for 3 minutes & you answer for 3 minutes as well. what i got is not actually a question. it goes like: say something about a line of your favorite movie. i was thinking of that famous line "i dont wanna be adored. i wanna be loved." but then i opted not to choose that. for whatsoever reasons i dont know. what i remember was actually not a line from the same movie, if only, but it was actually written by jennifer love. it's something like: in a relationship there's always someone who loves more than the other. "oh God, i wish it wasn't me". after everything i've been through, explaining that line in front is easy. it's like im just tellin a story, my story. judging from the reaction of my co-trainees, i felt like they have learned a thing or two from what i've shared with them. and it's really a nice feeling, to get a reaction like that. grace even told me that she was teary-eyed, she almost cried. hearing that made me think that i must have been really strong to be able to overcome that. hihi!=) im so proud of myself!

soooo, i dont wna make a big deal out of it, im just satisfied w/ how i did in the OPE but i knew i could have done even better. i was kinda distracted cos of their reactions. hehe! but it's ok! All's well that ends well. ta-ta!=)

~thank God its Friday!!~
aug.27,2005;saturday

Thank God it's Friday!!! ayoko na po mag-english ha..give me a break!=) eh ayun,ok nman! training as usual! ok nga kc ang haba ng time nmen para magreview bago magquiz! hehe! kso ang lola mo,ewan ko ba..lumilipad ata ang utak! sabay dinaldal pa ni mishy, ayun bagsak! di ko nman dinibdib, mas knkabahan ako sa oral exam sa monday. *arrghh* tpos, ayun uwian, umuulan..wla akong balak gumimik, kso ang mgaling kong best friend na c mishy (again!) eh magaling magblack mail kya ayun larga na nman sa malate! sinundo kme ng tropa nya mlapit sa insular building. tpos kumain muna kme sa jollibee. ewan ko ba pagsakay pa lang ng car ni raymond eh wala na ata kmeng gnwa kung hindi tumawa. cmula pa lang yan ha. tpos derecho na kme sa soul degree. *inuman na!!!* sa loob ng halos apat na oras din ata un, sumakit na ang tiyan at panga ko sa kakatawa sa mga kwento ng tropa nila mishy, sa pangunguna ni kim! sobrang saya talaga! nakalimutan ko ung sinasabi kong emptiness nung kasama ko na cla. kase nman pakiramdam ko welcome na welcome ako sa kanila, na parang hindi na rin ako iba! nakalimutan kong nangungulila ako, nakalimutan kong malungkot ako. ang sarap lang talaga ng pakiramdam! haaaay!

SATURDAY:
kakagising ko lang around two p.m. sarap humilata sa kama! ang tagal ko din bago bumangon. kumain lang ako at heto nasa harap na nman ako ng computer. nagsusulat na nman. pano naman hindi ako naka-emote kagabi! hindi ko na nga naramdaman ang hilo ko sa sobrang tawa! pakiramdam ko tuloy di ako nalasing (hindi nman talaga!!) oh.ano na?! magddrama ka ba?! tang ina kase, bakit ko ba nararamdaman to! ok na ko eh..masaya nko sa life ko! nakamove on na ko sa nakaraan ko. eh bakit, i feel so empty?! para tlgang may malaking butas sa puso ko. nakakainis! nkakagago! ano pa ba hahanapin ko? may trabaho ko, madami akong nkikilalang bagong kaibigan, madami akong nakakasama... hay... cguro "siya" na lang talaga.

"*kung may kakayahan lang ang mga luha na sabihin ang mga dapat mong marining, habang buhay akong iiyak.. dahil may mga bagay na mata lang ang nakakakita at luha lang ang may kakayahang magpadama!*"

~jayceeh. crazy. fool.~
aug.25,2005;thursday

episode 1:
i h8 what i feel! i have everything i wished & prayed
for & yet there's this big HOLE inside me. this
terrible emptiness is eating me up, swallowing me
whole. is there any way i can be saved?!

episode 2:
no,i'm not fallin'!cant take the risk.i definitely
wont.there has to be some fall back.
remember a line from the movie "if only", it goes
something like..in a relationship there's always
someone who loves more..(am i right?!) well
whatever! the thing is.. "Oh God, i wish it wasn't
ME!" (taken from the movie as well.)

*shakes head*
this is bullsh*t!

~workin' is dangerous to your health!~
aug.25,2005;thursday

im tired.
im soo tired.
im soo f*ckin' tired!
i wanna stay in bed & never get up again until i want to.
for the first tym in like forever, i wanna SLEEP.
this whole training thing for my J-O-B is sucking all my energy. im totally drained.
im goin' crazy. i can hear it in my head.

"duh DUH duh. DUh duh duh.
la LA la. LA la la.
cha CHA cha. CHA cha cha."

u wont get it idiot! it's a call center thingy. especially for convergys only!=)
*arrggghhhhhhhh*

can i use my vacation leave? pretty please!=)

oh,i didnt notice i was speaking & thinking in English.
believe me,at work,i am totally a scattered brain.
(luckily,a while ago,im not!i pretty much did great!) :p

am i makin' sense at all?
whatever!

just one more day..i cant wait til weekend!
you think its possible fo' anyone to sleep 2 whole days?
cos,i might!=)

++a series of fortunate events!++

2005-08-15T23:42:00.000-07:00

aug.04,2005 ; thursday
its been a week since the last day of training & i've been goin' crazy! pretty much bored, got nothin' to do. i've been used to the training that's why im actin' this way! i've been missin' HIM that's the bottom line. good thing, misht & i planned to meet today at ATC to catch up on each other's life. we hang out at starbucks, drinking coffee while eating auntie anne's chocolate chips pretzels *yummy* and of course chikahan to the max! tambay din sa powerbooks!=) it's pretty much fun cos we talked about a lot of things. we both miss the training & our co-trainees! we'd make thursday as our official 'gimik' day! *lolz*

aug.11,2005 ; thursday
as i've said, thursday is our gimik day! hehe! as usual, mishy & i went to ATC despite the bad weather. kwentuhan to the max ulit! and, just when we were wondering why convergys haven't called us still, her cellphone rang. finally, it was convergys. im happy for her cos sh'll be having her final interview tomorrow. after, about 10 to 15 minutes, my cellphone rang as well. weeeh!!! im sooo happy! after two long weeks of waiting, eto na, final judgement na! hehe! its either we make it or break it! *wheew* have to pray really hard. hope all of us would make it..=)

aug.12,2005 ; friday
surprisingly, when i arrived at convergys, konti lang ang tao! kirk was already there while mishy is currently having her final interview. kwentuhan muna kme ni kirk. na-delay ung interview samin kc na-late ng dating c faith. im happy for my beshy (that's what i call my new best friend mishy) cos job offer na cia, that means nkapasa cia ng final interview. then, it was kirk & kuya ronel's turn. kuya ronel also made it! during my interview, i felt really comfortable & i know i was able to let faith know that i've improved a lot on the areas she told to improved on. well, unfortunately, for kirk & i, we would have to wait for a call for the result of the final interview. after our interview, we had lunch at mcdo! when we came back, mike, abbie, myrene & embert were there already. tpos na din cla sa final interview. tambay muna kme dun, kwentuhan to the max.. nakakamiss ung good old days during the training!we stayed at convergys til 7 cos mishy & embert had another interview. then, kirk, mishy & i went to ATC. we had dinner tpos nagpicture-picture kme for remembrance! hehe! ang saya tlga! i'll miss our group soo much! haaay...

aug.15,2005 ; monday
i was about to leave our house when i received a call from convergys, saying that i had another interview. well, it was ok cos i planned to go there din nman cos mishy asked me to. when i arrived there, ted, one of our co-trainees, was there with mishy. she had her jo offer already! then at around 6:15 pm, one of the HR staff, Yuki, asked me & ted to come inside the HR Dept., he kind of oriented us about what's the interview like & he was reassuring us that no matter what's the result of interview, we will have our job offer tomorrow. he was so nice that's why, di na din ako kinabahan about the final interview cos sure na ko with a job. nakakaflattered nga eh, kc Yuki told us na, kya daw kme may isa pang interview dahil ung account na un is one of the most important account of convergys & only the BEST of the BEST will make it to their shortlist.. haha.. di ba ang taray ng lola niyo! tpos aun, interview na, ok nman. ralph is nice nman & hindi cia nkakaintimidate. the result... I PASSED!!! grbeh,im soo hapi! imagine im in one of the best accounts! hehe! the good thing?! magkasama kme ni beshy on the same account, which is equifax! grabe, i couldn't ask for more! then, after that, mish & i went to festival mall, we have dinner at mcdo. ginutom kme preho. tpos, we went to cowboy grill, celebration lang! umaga na nga kme nkauwi, mga around 4 na me dumating sa bahay. partida, may job offer pa me tomorrow. hehe!

aug.15,2005 ; tuesday
punta d2 c joan rico. punta kc kme sa sfacs ngyon pra mag-ackaso ng TOR. b4 that, kinuha niya muna ung certificate ko dun sa ex ko. tpos derecho na kme sa sfacs. i m really in a rush cos i have my job offer orientation pa at 3. when i arrived at convergys, dun na cla heidi, angie, welah & ted sa room. haay, ang sarap ng pkiramdam knowin na may trabaho na me!=) after that, hinatid kme ni ted sa festival. kumain kme ni heids sa mcdo! then, nghiwalay na kme, nag-internet me sa netopia so i could get my pics na din. when i was on the way home mishy texted me, nasa malate kc cia with her friends, pinasusunod nga me eh kso i cant nman. *sigh* im soo hapi cos finally i have a job!=)

so, there, a series of FORTUNATE events of my life!=)
ciao!

~future perfect FUN~

2005-07-31T21:43:00.000-07:00

the first week of training was nothin' but F-U-N! i've met a lot of new friends & sobrang cool ang mga co-trainees ko! summary of events for this week:

july25,2005
SONA. non working holiday but we had our training. Arggh!! daming absent! nkakatamad tuloy!=) pero di boring kc kachikahan ko c mishy! kain kme sa starmart! ksabay ko c mishy & embert pag-uwi!=)

july26,2005
discussion lang. after the training punta kme nila mishy, kirk at embert sa southmall. MCDO!!!=) kwentuhan to the max. ginabi na tuloy kme ng uwi!=) *tired*

july27,2005
topic: pronunciation of states & capitals. break. uwi c welah kc masama pkiramdam nia. kain kme sa 5th floor. Coffee w/mishy!=) nag games kme.. BOYS vs. GIRLS! talo sila sa first game, wahaha!! consequence nila pinagsaaw nmen cla ng ocho-ocho at spaghetti! kakatawa! pero nung 2nd game natalo kme..huhu! lagot kme sa consequence tomorrow! Tsk,tsk! after the training, punta me ng baclaran. ngkita kme ni mom dun, simba kme. tpos kain kme sa Mcdo!!=)
i fell in love --HARD!=)

july28,205
late me..takot ako sa consequence eh!hehe!pero ok lang..dali lang consequence nmen. it's like a game as well, we have to do charades, guess the movie. pag nahulaan u're saved from the consequence pag hindi u have to dance the ocho-ocho! konti lang ngsayaw samin pano nhulaan nmen ung mga movies! weeeh!! dami ko nga nhulaan eh! ang saya! break..=) mOck simulation. gosh..la lang, pra akong tanga! after the training, cnamahan ko c mishy sa convergys, dun kc c raymond at jeff, tropa nia, nag-exam. tpos punta kme sa ATC. kain kme sa greenwich. tpos derecho na kme sa festival. dun na me humiwalay sa knila. internet me saglit. pina-infrared ko ung pix ko. uwi. damn tired!

july29,2005
last day of training! nkakalungkot grabe! mamimiss ko ang grupo nmen! final assessment then nagkaroon ng open forum. break. sad tlga. usap kme ni welah. den, mock interview & discussion. "I LIKE THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME!"
after the training, punta ang grupo nmen sa festival mall, la lang prang last gimik ganun! lunch muna kme. ako, mishy, kuya ronel & anthony sa kfc. the rest sa henlin. then, nagbilliard cla, tambay lang kme..un iba nauna na sa videoke. sumunod nlang kme dun. grabe, dito na tlga ung sobrang saya. halos naluluha na ako sa kakatawa sa amin, at halos naluluha na din dahil mamimiss ko to! nakakatawa nung kinanta nila ung 'totoy bibo', shucks,ang bibo talaga! pinasayaw nmen c kirk! asteeg tlga!! the best tlga ang grupong to sobra!! mamimiss ko tlga .. *sigh*
that was just the beginning, hehe! gumimik pa kme ni mishy! pinilit nia kc me sumama sa school nia, sa PCU. cyempre kwentuhan to the max kme while on the way! then, pagdating nmen dun, i met her friends na. tpos, nagpunta kme sa skinz (not sure eh!) cyempre inuman! hehe! nkakwentuhan ko c kim, sobrang nkakatuwa ung mga kwento nia.. tpos ngpunta kme sa johnmil, kumanta cla. grabe, 5 am na me nkauwi! pero ok lang, enjoy nman! =) internet me sglit! hehe!

july30,2005
grabe 4pm nko ngcng.. internet me. message ko c beshy (twagan mnmen ng newest best friend ko na c mishy), kc grabeh mappraning ako! mis ko na c *tooooottt*!!! Arrgghhh! tulog na nman me tpos internet ulit! hehe!!

grbeh..daming nangyari..feeling ko, im soo blessed meeting all of my co-trainees! kc ang dmi kong natutunan sa knila at sobrang nag-enjoy ako sa company nila. totoo tlga, u lose some, u win some! haay.. sarap ng feeling that i get to know new peeps! cant wait til our final interview at convergys, pra mksama ko ulit cla.. *sigh*
gotta bounce peeps!=)

my busy ass.. lolx

2005-07-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

summary of events for this week:

july11-i was interviewed again at tokyo tokyo.good thing i came just right on time.then,i wen to rob. pioneer,i had lunch at tokyo tokyo. the pork tonkatsu is sooooo Yummy!i'm soo full! went around national bookstore,check out books & i bought meg magazine.before i went home,i passed by metropoint mall in pasay rotonda.look for cd's & pc software.im soo tired that the moment i got home i feel asleep! ARRGGH!! when i woke up,my sister, jhonie & i, went to sm to bought some of the stuffs she needs. i bought a cheek tint. haha!i had a long day. *whew!*

july12-woke up early again.went to makati.i waited for bheng in front of philamlife building.i had an interview @ psbank.we had lunch at mcdonald's.i'm soo hungry & the place was packed so we have to share seats w/other people. we waited there cos her friend from work will come with us. it started raining cats and dogs. we didnt accomplished anything worthwhile. we went to glorietta & sm makati just to roam around. we eventually went home w/ a not so heavy heart. we were all tired. long day. received a text message from tokyo tokyo. i'll have my exam tom.! *yawn*

july13-exam @ tokyo tokyo. it was ok. went to rob pioneer agen & grab a bite @ tokyo tokyo (again & again!!). cant get enough of pork tonkatsu & potato balls. have i said that tokyo tokyo has the best-est ice tea?! try it so u'll know! =p then,i had my pics transferred to a pc through infrared at netopia. went to baclaran to attend the novena. it was such a hot day,i wanna faint! *lolz* my mom & i bought a blouse for my sis. then we went to pc excellent in cubao. we bought a pc! yipee..=p i was able to catch oh!feel young soo i was hapi.. but extremely TIRED! the best news i ever received?! convergys called!!! i'll be having my training at future perfect on july 18. i wnna jump for joy! =p

july14-set up d new pc. it was fun. i proud that i was able to make it work. hehe! i feel a bit sick though. think im gonna have colds. *sob*

july15-im sick. i just sleep, sleep & sleep some more.

july16-i had oatmeal for breakfast *yum* i drank my medicine & fell asleep. just stayed at home. chikahan session w/ mah sis!;p

july17-woke up really late! waaah!!! headache!:c did not attend mass cos i was asleep again. watched korean movie "dollmaster". Asteeg.. =p

it was indeed a LOOOOONNNGGGG week. i'll start w/ my training tomorrow. im not nervous but im not excited either. i just hope it's fun. =p

gotta split. =p

not another koreanovela.. =p

2005-07-11T23:21:00.000-07:00

*sigh*

im such an addict when it comes to koreanovelas. i just really dont know why! im goin' crazy switchin' from one channel to the other just to catch both. i've already blabbed about oh! feel young, so.. another koreanovela that im crazy about is "attic cat" which stars kim rae won & jung da-bin. why was i curious about this koreanovela? well,maybe because i've watched previous movies of both lead stars & well,i consider both their movies my favorites so watchin' them together would be like--F-U-N. and it was not disappointing. both characters are effective in their role. the plot is cool. the scenes are totally hilarious. there are touching moments as well. kilig factor is way up high. =p im totally into this koreanovela. too bad,it's the same time as oh! feel young.. i missed some of the scenes. *sniff*
btw,have i mentioned kim rae won is such a cutie?! =p
check him out:

"oH!!! fEeL yOuNg.."

2005-07-07T00:17:00.000-07:00

addictus na tlga me sa koreanovelas.. ahehe! i'm currently into "oh!feel young". sobrang nkakatuwa ung story! hindi me mkkatulog hangga't di ko to npapanood. di msyado kagwapuhan ung lead star pero ang ganda ng story. oh! feel young is very realistic, it can make me laugh & cry all at the same time. pkiramdam ko nga nrramdaman ko ung mga nararamdaman ni phil young, sobrang tagus-tagusan. ahehe! pero pwamiz, ilang beses nkong pinaluha ng series na to, ang ganda kc ng mga lines na binibitawan ng mga characters. d ko nman actually love tong series na to, to prove that wla pa nga akong namimiss na episode..ahehe! convinced kna ba na gnun cia kaganda?! ;p cge,see for yourself nlang..
gotta bouUncE! ;p

..buhos pa ulan..

2005-07-05T14:36:00.000-07:00

..bUhos na uLan aking mUndo'y luNUring tuLuyan..

"sarap sabayan ng pagluha ang buhos ng ulan. pakiramdam mo kase hindi ka nag-iisa. pakiramdam mo lumuluha rin ang kalangitan.ang sarap umiyak lalo na cguro pag nasa ilalim ka ng ulan, walang makakahalata, walang makakakita. nararamdaman mo ang lamig ng bawat patak katulad ng nararamdaman ng puso mo. para bang nagkakaisa ang damdamin niyo. pakiramdam mo may kahati ka sa pighati, sa sakit, sa kalungkutan. sige, ulan... buhos pa, sana kasabay ng pagtila mo ay ang pagtigil ng mga luha ko. sana kasabay ng pagtila mo ay mabaon na din sa limot ang mga alaalang nagpapalamig sa puso ko. sana kasabay ng pagtila mo ay ang pagsikat ng isang bagong umagang punong puno ng pag-asa. isang bagong bukas na maghahatid ng panibagong pag-ibig. isang bagong araw na magbibigay saya...

tigil na... tahan na... :c"
*senti*
knina pa bumubuhos ang ulan,ayan tuloy nagkaroon ako ng inspirasyon. naging makata na nman ako..*haay* sana eto na huling sad post ko. pero alam ko ang layo pa ng 'paglalakbay' ko sa paglimot ng nakaraan. cge na...
*sob*

..i found mYseLf..

2005-06-29T23:07:00.000-07:00

i feel good...=p went to future perfect in alabang in line w/ my application for convergys. i had a lot of fun talking with the other applicants. we were indeed very lucky, among i think, a hundred applicants last week, only seven of us reached this far. i knew we were all deserving cos we worked hard for this. i wish all of us good luck. anyway, we were all interviewed just to assess how long will we take the english re-training. it's more like "kwentuhan" nga lang eh. im proud of myself coz i feel more confident nowadays. i'm not the same joan before na so timid / shy. i can comfortably talk to people from all walks of life. i'm not "ilang" anymore. i feel like i've come out of my shell. i enjoy my new sense of SELF. and you know what i couldnt wait to enjoy my life on my own: new adventures, new friends, new relationships! i know something better is coming my way..c GOD pa! i entrust my life to Him na eh! with what i've been through i know deep in my heart that God has reasons and that He has better plans for me. there were still times that, yes, i feel soo empty, soo alone, soo hurt.. but i knew that during those times God is just testing me, He just wants me to come to Him, tagal ko kase cia nakalimutan eh. kaya nga, i lift up everything to him na. *sigh* basta, i just couldnt wait for my life to move forward. i couldnt wait for God's plan to unfold. You know what i've realized after all? That i never lost anything, cos i know God will never leave me empty. just knowing that i have God by my side i know i've got all that i need.=p

..finally,i found myself.im ready to move on..
on the other hand,today is mah lolo's bday. so, right after my appointment at future perfect & after grabbing a bite at go nuts donuts,went straight to baclaran church for the afternoon novena w/ mah mom & auntie nita. then before i knew it, mah other titas' already there. we went to the seaside market, located there is the resto that cooks yummy & i mean YUMMY seafoods!=p the next best part as the say is history. hehe. damn im soo lucky that i never get fat! with all that buttered shrimps & calamares. . . *sigh*

u lose some,u win some..=)

2005-06-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

ayoko na po mag-ingles!!! hehehe...

"if we lose something, we lose it for a reason. That reason might be hard to understand, but whatever it is.. we just have to believe that...
GOD TAKES AWAY WHEN HE HAS SOMETHING BETTER TO GIVE!"

ganun pala talaga ang life noh?! "you win some, you lose some." sabi nga ng isang friend ko, ang bilis ko naman daw nkarecover. pero ang totoo hindi pa ko tapos, lam ko iiyak pa din ako hangga't may galit at bitterness pa din sa puso ko. anyway, share ko lang yang quote na na-forward sakin ng friend ko, kase isa yan sa mga inspirasyon ko para makamove on. aaminin ko masaya ako ngayon. pakiramdam ko kase kahit may nawala sa akin, may dumating naman na i think is better for me. ang laki ng pinagbago ko in a span of what, uhmm, 2 days i think! pakiramdam ko kahit umalis ako on my own hindi ako nag-iisa. kinakausap ko kc sa isip ko c God. pakiramdam ko nga ang lapit lapit ko sa kanya. Siya din cguro ang hinihintay ko na magbigay sakin ng strength. natutuwa ako sa sarili ko--sobra! pakiramdam ko ang laking accomplishment na nagawa ko. nag-apply kase ako sa Convergys Alabang. one of the top call centers, i believe. kase naman ang hirap talaga makapasok dun noh! cyempre napasa ko ang initial interview & kanina was the best part of all. nalagpasan ko din ang Simulation Exam nila which i think is the most important part ng application sa kanila, den im off to my final interview. i was one of the very few na makarating sa final interview, marami talagang bumabagsak sa simulation test nila. *sigh* pakiramdam ko ang swerte ko! imagine, ang bilis naman magbigay sakin ni God. kaya nga im soo thankful eh..cguro eto talaga ang plano ni God for me and i know i just have to trust Him.
basta, ang sarap ng feeling. sana magtuloy-tuloy na!=p
so getz nio na kung bakit ayoko mag-ingles?! aba, nakakapagod na noh! panay ingles na ko sa convergys, give me a break! i might be doing that english speaking thing for quite a long time if i get hired noh! *wink*
wish me luck.=)

reality BITES.

2005-06-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

ang tagal ko nang di nag-update. tagal ko pala nawala. tagal ko pala nalunod sa kalungkutan. ilang araw, ilang buwan, sa wakas hawak ko na ang katotohanan sa mga palad ko. hindi biro ang sakit na naramdaman ko. lalong hindi rin biro ang dami ng luhang umagos sa mga mata ko. paulit-ulit kong tinatanong ang sarili ko kung nananaginip ba ko? paano nagawa sa akin to ng taong akala ko kilalang-kilala ko, ng taong lubos kong minahal at pinagkatiwalaan ng husto? hirap na hirap ako, halos hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang sakit na naramdaman ko. ganun pala un, kahit gaano ka kahanda sa isang bagay, hindi pa rin matatawaran ang sakit pag nasa harap mo na. gusto mo magmura, gusto mo magwala, pero...

"mahal na mahal kita. sabihin mo sakin ngayon kung paano ako magmomove-on kung buong buhay ko nakasentro sayo...hindi lang apat na taon kita minahal alam mo yan, ikaw ang lahat lahat sakin. paano na ko? hindi ko kaya... tatanggapin kita buong buo piliin mo lang ako... pls... mahal na mahal kita!"

hanggang sa huli ako pa din pala ang nagmakaawa. nadala pa rin ako sa labis na pagmamahal. ngayon ko lang napatunayan na nagmamahal ako ng totoo. nilunok ko na kase ang lahat. lahat ng HIYA, lahat ng PRIDE. ramdam na ramdam ko ang awa ko sa sarili ko, pero wala akong magawa MAHAL ko eh, kulang na nga lang lumuhod ako sa harap niya. Tsk,Tsk! Nung mga oras na un nasabi ko sa sarili ko at sa kanya mismo na wala na akong mamahalin pa ng kagaya ng pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Ang sakit sakit pala. Lalo pa at hindi mo inaasahan, sa isang iglap lang, sa isang pagkakamali lang maaring magbago ang lahat.
PAANO NA BA AKO?
paano ko haharapin ang bukas na wala na ang taong minahal ko ng higit pa sa buhay ko?
*sob*

to be continued...?!

lil' girl...

2005-06-07T23:47:00.000-07:00

i haven't updated for soo long.i've been too much of a lazy person lately. pretty much tired from mah daily ramblings. funny,how im still breathing.. :) *whew*
i finished my training today with a not so heavy heart. im kinda pleased that im done with it already coz as what i've said im pretty much tired already. so, in the next couple of days, it'll be hello REAL world. to recap mah last two days of training, it was soo much fun actually. for the first time in soo long, i felt like mah heart was on cloud nine. maybe, because of the thought that im open to a lot of opportunities now. yesterday, i went home with mah dad. it was hell of a traffic at alabang-zapote road. and this driver suddenly decided to cancel his trip & returned our money. luckily too, because i badly need to pee. :) so, my dad & i went to jollibee & we decided to grab a bite too. i loved the chicken torpedo meal. *yum* it was that day that i realized that i will always be mah daddy's little girl. it was that day too that i wished that i'm still a kid crying over a bruised knee rather than being a lady crying over a wounded heart. ='c
life's a bit tough on me, eh?! :)

what hurts...

2005-05-28T11:03:00.000-07:00

:: letting go of a person u've just learned to love
:: reminiscing the good times u shared together
:: shielding ur heart to love somebody
:: trying to hide what u really feel
:: trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes
:: loving a person too much
:: giving up someone u never thought of giving up
:: having the right love at the wrong time
:: taking the risk to fall in love again
:: hiding ur relationship from someone else
:: controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
:: thinking of him every waking and sleeping
moment knowing all the while that he never even thinks a
single thought of you...
:: letting go, because everytime you see the
person, you only fall deeper
:: holding back only to find out when it's too late,
you both felt the same way, but were only scared
to lose each other so much that you didn't let the
feelings out
:: falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall
inlove with
:: finding the perfect guy...with only one
prob....he doesnt love you...
:: helping the one you love court your friend
:: seeing the one you love crying for someone else
:: the waiting also hurts like hell
:: having to hear "... I've met someone"
:: agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
:: asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier
with her'
:: asking u to 'forget that everything happened'and
be 'normal' friends again.
:: hearing that u're treated as a sis (ouch!)
:: sharing his future plans for the girl with you.
:: u stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to.
:: being denied in front of people.
:: telling u lies where he'd been when actually,
he was with a 'new friend' or an 'old flame'(whew!)
:: he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his
ex (d one he left 4 u!)
:: breaking someone's heart
:: fighting for that one thing that would make you happy
:: that is, holding on to a person who can
not guarantee you his commitment unless he fix
himself...then, you are left hanging for the
moment...then he says, time will tell... but
you still decided to hope in him and trust him
:: PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
:: PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING
your weakness
:: lying in bed each night, thinking of that special
person you can never have...
:: being with someone you can't actually love...
:: pretending you don't love a person whom you
actually love...
:: being in love...
:: letting go even if you really don't want to...
having no right to say you are hurting because it
was your decision
:: seeing the person you love hurt because of
you...and not being able to help that person...
:: having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to
the person you love and finding out afterwards
that things will never be the same again when he/she
doesnt treat you with the same closeness as before
:: having to face the fact that someone is capable
of completely destroying the wall that you have set
for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
:: admitting that you love someone despite his
imperfections
:: finding out that the more you try to hate him,
the more you end up loving him, perhaps even
more than before
:: realizing how stupid your mistakes were that
led to your break-up.
:: the thought that this guy, used to really love you
and you loved him as well but you didn't give
enough and he gave up on you
:: Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY
else..."
:: making a promise....and realizing that
when the time has come for that promise to be
delivered....the commitment is no longer there...
:: the hardest thing about love - believing it
exists.

After you've been hurt...
...learn to forgive
...learn to trust and love again

confessions of a..

2005-05-18T22:58:00.000-07:00

*tsk,tsk* poor me.. =p
sorry guys,i have to make this one not easily readable. dont mind this one. it's pure non sense!

it's been over a month.eto na nman ako. drama queen na ata ko. paulit-ulit nlang ang mga cnsabi ko. nakakasawa na nga ata para sa mga taong nakikinig sakin. ang hirap. ang daming bawal sakin ngayon pero gngawa ko pa din. bawal ako magpuyat because of my eyes,palagay ko bawal din ako umiyak. DAMN! di mahalaga ang monthsary para sa iba dba? kelan lang naman nauso yan. pero wat if 50th monthsary?! wala lang. nagdaramdam lang ako. naghintay ako sa wala. simpleng tawag o text lang. kung ayaw nman pwede naman sabihin dba?! kya lang naghintay ako. masisisi mo ba ko?! masama bang maghintay para kahit saglit lang maging masaya ako, magkaron man lang ng inspirasyon para sa kinabukasan. Nakalimutan ko na kc kung pano ngumiti, ung ngiting galing sapuso. nakalimutan ko na kung pano maging masaya. miss na miss ko na nga ung pakiramdam. ang tagal na kc.
ang sakit pala ng ganito noh.ung kayo pero parang di kayo..mahirap ba ibigay ung honesty? all i ask lang naman eh ung sabihin niya sakin ung totoo.kahit masakit mas matatanggap ko un kesa ganito. ung nasasaktan ako ng di ko alam kung bakit. he makes me suffer for problems or reasons that i dont even know. and that is soo unfair.di naman ako manghuhula. bakit pinatatagal pa dba?? pano ko maniniwalang mahal nia ko gaya ng cnasabi nia kung ganito.
ayokong kinakaawaan ako ng ibang tao,pero masisisi ko ba sila kung ako nga naaawa sa sarili ko.pero masisisi din ba nila ko kung ayaw ko makinig sa knila. ang tanga tanga ko noh?? khit na nsasaktan na ko, wala pa din akong ibang inisip kundi cia,cia,cia!!! kahit wala ciang pakialam.kahit walang ciang kahit konti man lang concern.. eto ako nagpapakamanhid na lang. hangga't kaya cge pa.pero parang bibigay na ko. di ko na ata kaya. kala ko kc nung una..ok lang ako.pero kahit katawan ko sumusuko na. naaapektuhan na. kaw ba naman di makatulog. di makakain. nagpapakapagod para hindi mag isip. para makalimot. hanggang kelan kaya. wala nman ibang makakatulong sakin eh..kundi ung taong dahilan kung bakit ako nasasaktan.
sana lang, marealize niya kung gano nia ko nasasaktan. alam kong alam niya, ang tanong eh..kung anong balak niya. nakakapagod na eh. hirap magpanggap na ok ka pero sa totoo lang kelangan mo ng balikat na maiiyakan. hirap ung kahit na nasan ka parang gusto tumulo ng luha mo.ang hirap. ang hirap-hirap!
amfootah!!!
kelan ba to matatapos.
amfootah!!!
kelan ba ko magiging masaya.
AMFOOTAH!!!!!

-=you'll be dead!=- winkz

2005-05-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

another stressful week passed me by. *sigh*
but im pretty much doing ok. i never realize how time flies so quickly when you're busy.last monday was my first day in training for english proficiency & the likes. competition is tough this days especially in the call center industry so i have to have an edge among other applicants..plus,you really got to have american accent when u want a career in call centers coz basically you'll be talking to american clients. hopefully,after this training i'll be good enough coz i badly need a j-o-b! why??i wanna earn my own money. i have a lot of things i wanna buy for myself. hehe. 2nd,i want to divert my attention to other things cos i just have to or i'll go crazy. 3rd,i need money to fulfill my fantasy of travelling anywhere i wanna go. hihi! i dont wna bore u guys..let's get down to the bottom line.

one of the best things that happened this week was the return of METEOR GARDEN.

thanks to abs!=) we have to admit that MG started what we fondly call now the koreanovelas craze.. (though f4 & barbie were not really koreans,they're chinese.)MG for me is still the no.1 among all the series that i've watched. super favorite ko tlga to promise. i wouldn't get tired of watching it over and over again. honestly, whenever i feel sad,i watch my tapes (yeah,i recorded each & every episode of MG, i never want to buy dvd copies,i wnt the dubbed versions.Ü) & i still cry over the senti moments and get kilig with dao & shancai. :)
besides, F4's still the H-O-T-T-E-S-T!

unfortunately though, i dont get to watch "sweet 18". it's a koreanovela nman sa channel 7. i found the trailer cute pa nman. minsan di ko din nman kc naaabutan cos of my training. too bad! :)
i guess that's all for now. have i said that DAO MING SI is mine?! hehe! :)

you'll be DEAD if u stare too much! :)

cRuShin'.. =p

2005-05-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This blog post is too HOT to handle! =)

I've been watchin' a bit of Memories of Bali,the koreanovela that replaced Lovers in Paris' timeslot. And lately, i've been drooling over:

Jo In-Sung a.k.a. Paolo
He has this "bad boy" appeal and those smiles...damn! They're for me! haha!:) On the other hand, there's:

So Ji Sup a.k.a. Ryan
He has the face of an angel with an air of mystery. 'nuf said right?! *sigh*
I am wishful thinking. So lemme say that they're MINE ok?! =)
ciao...dont stare too much or else... *wink*

the WRITER in me.

2005-05-05T23:08:00.000-07:00

first,i just have to say that i loved what i did in this particular photo. iba lang ang dating. it's like seeing right through me. u can see what's behind those eyes. i dont know if u feel the same.basta,this pic reveals my emotions.read on peeps...

minsan akong tumayo sa harap ng isang mahaba at madilim na daan. humakbang ako ng ilang beses. wala akong makita.maraming tanong ang sumasagi sa isip ko.

"bakit nandito ako?"
"bakit pinili ko ang landas na to?"
"bakit nag-iisa ako?"

lumilipas ang mga araw.bawat araw ay katumbas ng isang hakbang sa patuloy kong pagtuklas kung anong meron sa landas na tinatahak ko.malapit na ko sa kalagitnaan, gusto kong lumingon pabalik upang gunitain ang mga alaala. tumulo ang luha sa aking mga mata. ramdam ko ang pangungulila sa aking pag-iisa. gusto kong marating ang dulo ng landas na tinatahak ko.baka sakaling mahanap ko ang mga sagot sa tanong ko. ngunit pinipigil ako ng pag-ibig na nagpupumiglas sa puso ko. bago pa tuluyang mahuli ang lahat muli akong humakbang. konti na lang mararating ko na ang dulo. marami pa ring tanong ang walang kasagutan.

"nasan ka?"
"bakit iniwan na?"
"darating ka ba?"

isang hakbang na lang. gusto kong lumingon muli pabalik. ngunit puno ako ng takot. puno ng pangamba. wala nang pag-asa. wala nang nadarama. manhid na nga ba ko? o patuloy ko pa rin kinikimkim sa loob ang mga nadarama. nanganganib na tumulo na naman ang mga luha.

pano kung paglingon ko,andun na sya..pano ang isang hakbang palayo?itutuloy ko pa ba?

pano kung paglingon ko wala sya,pano matatanggap ang kapalarang di kami para sa isa't isa?

this is what i get from being dramatic..i get to write stuffs that are either too personal or too mushy.i dont even know why im posting this in mah blog.well,maybe because im a frustrated writer. haha! cguro naman i need not elaborate cos i've written everything that i feel na in that essay whatsoever. i just feel good lang releasing something from within.
*sigh*
i h8 dramas.y cant life be completely fun?!=c

somethin' new.. =p

2005-04-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

finally,i found the almost perfect skin for my blog! i've been searching for like forever! i soo luv mah new lay-out! i've had a problem about the comment thing,fortunately though i remembered signing up at haloscan ages ago. inamag na ata account ko! hehe!i couldnt make it work in mah first lay-out then mah 2nd one naman automatic na may comment na..so here goes,mah new and improved blog!
*sigh*
"i just dont know what to do with mah self!" ;) kinda bored with mah life right now,so here i am spendin as much time as i can in the world wide web to kill time.this is the only way i can forget my problems even for just a while. plus, my blog serves as my outlet. blah-blah-blah.
dont wana bore u with that non-sense.gotta split. ;)

love,so divine movie!! :)

2005-04-26T21:57:00.000-07:00

to all fanatics of kwon sang-woo. u gotta watch this movie cos u'll fall in love with him even more. haha! kiddin' ! u'll enjoy watchin this cos there's never a dull moment. lots of laugh actually. :) here's the summary courtesy of hancinema.net read on. :)<br>

In the film, Kyu-sik (Kwone Sang-woo) is an exemplary theological student. In a month, he will be ordained and become priest, a dream he has pursued for years. But God throws him into an embarrassing situation: Because of his trouble-making friend Sun-dal (Kim In-kwon), Kyu-sik makes a grave mistake during a formal ceremony at church. The school authorities order the two to spend a month at a small church in a remote village, offering them a chance to restore and strengthen their commitment. But things don't go as planned, especially when the priest-to-be in question is terribly handsome - actor Kwon is Korea's top-rated heartthrob and his popularity is literally soaring.

When Kyu-sik happens to meet Bong-hee (Ha Ji-won), a high-spirited young woman who had just returned from the United States to capture the love of her boyfriend, something mysterious is at work. Bong-hee, it turns out, is a niece of the kind-hearted priest (Kim In-moon) who manages the small church in the countryside. At first, Kyu-sik does not have any romantic feeling toward Bong-hee. Rather they fight with each other while working for the church. But eventually they, well, develop some intimacy. From this point on, it is awfully easy to predict where the story will go. Director Huh In-moo seems to know the danger lurking in this plot, so he opts for some comic scenes to sidestep what might be objectionable. As a light-hearted Romantic Comedy, the film makes clever use of "Deo Gratias," a Latin phrase meaning "thanks be to God," Kyu-sik repeats the phrase when he prays, and explains to Bong-hee that it may well sound like a secret code. "This is how we thank God, and we do it in a sort of secret way because we tend to be shy about saying 'I love you' in front of others," Kyu-sik says. Love, the movie implies, is a secret thing that is shared by only the couple who deeply understand each other.

The film also presents details of the Catholic Church, including upbeat performances by the choir. These elements are expected to appeal to Catholic viewers, something that apparently pleased Catholic leaders in a specially prepared preview.

By Yang Sung-jin

i should have posted this before pa,but i forgot about it na cos i've been busy with other stuffs. hihi! try to watch it coz kwon is such a cutie here. :)

crazy.sexy.fool. lolz

2005-04-24T02:51:00.000-07:00

it's been a hell of a week. a roller coaster full of emotions.things havent been back to normal and that sucks! hihi!
sorry guys,this is mah way of releasing my angst! whatever! :) i look and feel terrible. i cant think straight. i couldnt eat, and worst, i couldnt sleep. is that a sign of depression?!cos i really think im fallin into that trap. couldnt even bear to look at myself in the mirror coz i wouldnt like what i see. if im not feeling crappy as i am,i would have been happy seeing a "curvy" me.BUT, if u find urself not feeling sexy in your already size 24 jeans coz it's too loose for you,you'd rather frown. u get what i mean?! ok..look at this:

there,i had to mess that up a bit coz i really looked terrible.feeling ko sumobra ng kapayatan ko. yuck!! para akong walis tingting. arghh!! one of mah frustrations pa,gusto ko mag-beach.my goodness. summer's almost over before i knew it.i really really wana go to puerto or bora.im craving for it for like forever! hehe! partly because i wanna forget my problems and why my life's twisted lately.i wanna get away from it all na,kc feeling ko i'll go crazy if things remained this way.kaso, tlgang it's just not the right time eh..ayaw talaga ko pagbigyan. i guess i just have to sacrifice a bit more. *sigh*

for the longest time,i've been thinking how's it like to smile again. how's it like to be happy.

i just really feel incomplete.

....................................

missin' u soo bad...

2005-04-16T01:42:00.000-07:00

i've been through so much pain since you left me
i just cant convince myself we're through
things have been said and done
i guess its over now you're gone..

it's true when they say that lovers come and go
but deep in my heart
i just wanna let you know
the love that we once shared is everything
that there's nothing to compare...

* cause im missing you soo bad!
now that you're not by my side
i guess you could say
it's me who's hurting soo bad!
after all this time
after all that we've been through
baby,aren't you hurtin too?!

now that i've lost the power to pretend
i guess you could see right through me
this yearnin' i cant explain
feeling i just cannot contain..

i know someday i'll get over you
it just takes time and some getting used to
each day im feeling blue..
every road leads me back to you!

[*]

cause im missing you soo bad!
now that you're not by my side
i guess you could say
its me who's hurtin' soo bad!
after all this time
after all that we've been through
baby,i'm missin you soo bad!

now that you're not by my side
i guess you could say
it's me who's hurting soo bad!
after all this time..
after all that we've been through
baby,arent you hurtin too?! :(

*aww* this song brings a lot of memories.
i used to sing this song to him when we were
still "mag-bessy". those were the days when
we were falling for each other na.i loved this song
soo much.the lyrics' just too emotional.sobrang
favorite ko freestyle, sobrang daming memories ng song na to.
whenever i hear this only one person enters my mind:
mah one & only BESSY!!!
grabe..i miss him sooo bad! tomorrow monthsary na
namin.stil no word from him.i never thought na ung
meaning nung kantang yan ay mararamdaman ko.
though,we're not on the break up stage,pero basta
hirap i-express.basta un na un..
I MISS HIM SOO BAD!!!
that's the bottom line!:(

senti mode

2005-04-15T01:01:00.000-07:00

can i relate to this song?!sort of,i just loved that line.

the title of this song is "i dont wanna be your friend". ewan ko basta feel ko lang siya ngayon.maybe because i dont want to be just his friend.i wanna fight for our relationship. :)

arghh!avril rox!love the lyrics!"so much for my happy ending" but im still hoping..

this song can make me weep anytime.

im soo depressed right now,i dont know where i'll get my strength from.
i just really really miss him soo bad!i'm still holding on.im not
the type to give up that easily.even if i look stupid,basta wala akong pakialam kung ano man isipin ng iba.bakit magiging maligaya ba ko kung ganun. i'll follow whatever my heart tells me. tanga na kung tanga. hihi! all i know is that, i really miss him. whatever he is going through,wherever he may be, may tiwala ako sa kanya. i know he just needs time.sana lang he'll give me a chance para maparamdam ko sa kanya na i'm here no matter what & that i still love him despite what he did.
*sigh*
i really miss him. his eyes. more importantly his' smile.kase parang lately,i havent seen him smile.i miss being with him.na khit my gngawa siya ok lang basta kasama ko siya.
*sigh again*
i love him soo much...
much more than anyone could ever imagine. :)

damn...

2005-04-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

uunahan na kita..sana basahin mo eto ng buo.malay mo matulungan mo ko.ni hindi ko alam kung pano magsisimula.basta ang gusto ko lang may makinig sakin.maaring pag tpos ng mga problema i-delete ko to at ttawanan ko nlang sarili ko.pero sana...makinig ka.

masama ang loob ko.di ko maikakaila.di ko nga din alam gagawin ko eh.i dont wna name the person pero obviously cia un.ewan ko kung anong nangyari.hindi ko talaga alam.ang masakit lang para sakin ay ung ginawa niyang pag-alis kahit na alam niyang masasaktan ako lalo pa't alam mo un,wala akong ginagawang masama. kung tutuusin ok kami eh.walang problema.may iba siyang problema,oo.ayaw niya daw sa kanila.tanggap ko naman un eh,pero ang nakakapagpasama ng loob ko kung may problema pala cia bakit di cia lumapit sakin.bakit basta cia umalis ng walang paalam..ang sakit dba?? wala naman akong ginawa sa kanya pero ako ang pinahihirapan niya.di ko alam gagawin ko tulungan mo ko.kase nahihirapan na ko eh.pakiramdam ko masisira na ang ulo ko kakaicip kung bakit niya ko gnaganto.di ba mas maganda kung pinaprangka na lang niya ko..kung ayaw na niya sakin,kung di na niya ko mahal,derechuhin niya ko.di ung gAnito na nagmumukha akong gago.kung nasasakal cia,if he wants space sabihin niya hindi ung basta na lang siya aalis ng walang paalam.masakit kase eh.sobrang hirap na ko.i dont deserve to be treated this way e...

waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! ;(

"last daNce to heaVen"

2005-04-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

honestly, i've been a sucker for asianovelas since lovers in paris came along. scratch dat, since meteor garden pa pala! and today, two koreanovelas that i've been watching has finally ended. it's kinda annoying for me coz i kept switching from one tv to the other so i can see how it both ends. First things first, honestly, im not that satisfied with the ending of Stairway to Heaven. it's kinda "bitin" kase.I think lang na there's a better ending to it.Sana, pinakita na they got together in heaven or something like that para it's not kinda sad na basta nlang nmatay ung girl & the guy said na "hintayin mo ko Jodi". Well, it's ok.I've been more hooked to this other koreanovela "Save the Last Dance for me" naman.I dont think I ever missed an episode..oh,well,i think i missed about two or three.I like the ending of this koreanovela better than Stairway. I even got teary eyed. Soo sweet kase. *sigh*
Which only proves love moves in mysterious ways! haha! la lang. despite many obstacles pala in any relationship,if you really loved each other,love will find its way. yeah,yeah, i'm getting mushy. but it's true naman dba?! *wink*
*sigh again* i'll definitely miss "Save the Last Dance for me!" but, no worries, may bago na naman eh, hope it's as good as Save the Last Dance for me if not better. :)
gtg. ciao! :)

ceRtiFied KHANatic!! =p

2005-04-07T01:17:00.000-07:00

i've missed blogging!!! its been days, or weeks perhaps! feeling ko, i have a lot of things to say i dont know where to begin!what made me Über busy this days?! it's all in the title, baby! :) i'm addicted to KHAN online! yeah,it's like ragnarok,where you get to meet fellow players. sobrang fun tlga!! :) level 20 pa lang character ko, which is an assasin. take a look:

la lang ang astig noh?! wahehehe!!! basta im a...

turNing hawaiiaN! :)

2005-03-23T00:09:00.000-08:00

havent updated for days..i've kept this entry as draft for too long already. been too busy about other stuffs lately. like friendster (hehe) and pictures!! :)

i've been soo addicted to pictures lately.. and this time, im playin with mah hair. it's kinda ironic that in this
season where almost everyone is makin such a big fuss over hair rebonding and the likes, i wanted to curl
mah hair. and, yep, i definitely did. ok,it wasnt the permanent thing though. Afraid that it might damage
my already bad hair. haha! it was just something i did out of fun & i wanted to change how i look in my
so-called pictorials! and tadah..

haha!!uber girly noh?! :) feeling hawaiian princess>> more like following Jasmine Trias' trend with that flower thingy! :) definitely luvin it! hehe! a bit of spontaneity and creativity & my boredom's gone! *sigh*
what new look am i gonna try next time?! well, u gotta see for yahself.. i'll keep u hanging! *winkz*
ciao! :)

hapee 4th aNniVerSarY!

2005-03-17T23:20:00.000-08:00

finally, my most awaited day has arrived.. i'm soo happy. words wouldn't be enough to express how i feel!
well, how did frankie & i spend it?! good question. we went to Manila Zoo! something we dont normally do!
wala lang, since it's not an ordinary day,i planned to spend it in not so ordinary way. well, yeah, i planned
it that way. at kc before while we're on our way to rob. manila, mah dadah told me na he wanted to go
there.so that was it. and boy, did we had soo much fun.. u may think we were soo "isip bata", so what!
life's too short noh, para hindi i-enjoy! :) too bad, we dont hav a cam, konti lang ung pix namen!

haha.. dat's us messin with the ostrich! (ostrich nga ba?!) ah basta! :)

kakatuwa tlga..dami animals! kaso,ung iba hmmph, mga mahiyain! basta nalang nagtatago, others are just sleeping! tas, kakatakot ung crocodile, YIKES!!! ang laki nya grabe. The crocodile's eyes alone makes me shiver! Tapos, we went to the snakes area. haay, sobrang kinikilabutan me! FYI, i'm soo scared of snakes. basta,ayoko tlaga ng ahas.eh! nakakaawa nga ung daga, it is meant to be the cobra's food. *sob*
tapos dun sa isa nman ang daming phyton (tma ba spelling?!) grabe, as in nakapalupot cla sa isa't isa! sobrang Ewww!!! :) but, ang pinaka-ASTIG ay ung Tiger!! as in lupet tlaga. dati napapanood ko lang un sa national geographic but kanina, i saw it with my own eyes. hehe. ang babaw ko noh?! :)
After sa Manila Zoo, we went to Rob. Manila na! I'm too exhausted to go shopping so we watch a movie nlang! Cool nman pala ung "Hitch". Soo funny cia, promise. After that, we went to Sm Manila, kc I have to pay my dad's credit card bill. Arrgh! Tapos cyempre favorite hobby namen ni bebeh ay Kumain! :) kain kmi sa red ribbon. Soo yummy talaga ung Salisbury Steak! hehe! Then, I bough my sister a gift, ung Born Lippy Lip Balm ng Body Shop in Watermelon, coz it's her graduation day. I also bought myself this new product that Body Shop launched, Hi-Shine Lip Treatment. Being a lip gloss addict that i am, that's enough to make mah day! *wink*
It's been a long day noh? yes, i'm tired but really this day meant soo much! hope u find mah story amusing! hehe! soo, gotta split! ciao! :)

..loVe mOves in mySteRiOuS waYs..

2005-03-16T21:57:00.000-08:00

in a few hours,it'll be my most awaited day! yep, it's our 4th anniversary.
grabeh,i'm soo excited. i dunno why!i feel like walking in the clouds..
hehe! basta,i'm super happy.
uhmm, know the song "love moves in mysterious ways"?i totally love it,
from the very first time i heard it til now. well, here goes:

Love moves in Mysterious Ways

Who'd have thought this is how the pieces fit
You and I shouldn't even try making sense of it
I forgot how we ever came this far
I believe we had reasons but I don't know what they are
Don't blame it on my heart, oh

Love moves in mysterious ways
It's always so surprising
When love appears over the horizon
I'll love you for the rest of my days
But still it's a mystery
How you ever came to me
Which only proves
Love moves in mysterious ways

Heaven knows love is just a chance we take
We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith
So hold me close and never never let me go
'Cos even though we think we know which way the river flows
That's not the way love goes, no

(Repeat chorus)

Like the ticking of a clock two hearts beat as one
But I'll never understand the way it's done, oh

(Repeat chorus)

Love moves... in mysterious ways...

nice dba?! soo happy when u've finally someone u wanna spend
the rest of ur life with.. *sigh*
oh,well..i just couldn't wait til tomorrow! it'll gonna
be soo much fun!!

my little bride movie >>cool!!

2005-03-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

i've been a sucker for koreanovelas & yep, definitely for korean movies as well...there's just something about their movies that u will truly enjoy.as for me, it's because korean movies are a mixture of everything u would want in a movie. romance, drama, comedy all in one movie. it's just hard to find in other movies. this movie "my little bride" deserves two thumbs up. worth watchin, so see for urself! *wink*

here's a short summary of the flick:
In this romantic comedy, Sangmin (played by Kim Raewon) is a 24-year-old college boy who keeps drooling over cute ladies on campus. He, however, is forced to marry Boeun (Mun Gunyeong), a 16-year-old high school girl who he has known since childhood. They are easily cheated by Boeun's grandfather who wants to keep a promise he made to his former friend - Sangmin's deceased grandfather - who makes a dying wish on his hospital bed to see them marry. After their undesired marriage to each other, Boeun still has a crush on a handsome baseball player at her school and dates him secretly, compelling Sangmin to win her back home. For Sangmin, he has lost his identity as a "playboy" after marriage. He has to also fend off Boeun's spinster teacher who tries to win his love without ever knowing that he and her student are married. Director Kim Hojun serves up a happy ending with the married couple finding and reaffirming real love between them.

friendster addictus..=p

2005-03-05T01:41:00.000-08:00

wna b mah friendster?!: )

add me up pipz!!=p

pa pa ra pa pa...luv koh to!! *wink*

ms photogenic strikes again!=p

2005-03-04T01:03:00.000-08:00

...latest pic...

*whew* pictures again..:) got nothing else to do with mah life.
pretty much bored.so here's the result! hehe! pictures & lots of
pictures. im messin in mah bed this time.. *grrrh*

anniv is nearing..oh-oh!! ;)

ciao!

LoOkin' baCk...

2005-03-03T02:39:00.000-08:00

Yep,definitely sMilin' nOw...=)

it's been days that i've been cryin..but now,im hapi! he knew how i felt na, and that's enough for me.whether this is gonna work or not,it's still worth a try. besides,i wont allow other people to be happy while i'm cryin..u know people hu wished for us to break up or anything..hah...u wish!!! dream on and just dream big, that wouldn't happen!!
another reason for me to be happy is that, today, lookin back 4 years ago, was exactly the day when he told me that he loved me. this mark the upcoming anniversary!! waaaah, just two more weeks.. am i excited... Y-E-A-H!!! =)
i juz couldn't wait!!!

...my iMmoRtaL...

2005-02-25T01:24:00.000-08:00

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much
that time cannot erase

when you cried
i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream
i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand
through all of these years
but you still have
all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound
by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me
these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much
that time cannot erase

when you cried
i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream
i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand
through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself
that you're gone and
though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

"this is for me!!=(
i can very much relate to the lyrics!
*aww*
one of the songs that make me
wanna weep!
*argggh*"

47th monthsaRy...=>

2005-02-17T23:38:00.000-08:00

things started out bad... really bad actually!!
but even if it ruined mah day,i wouldnt let this
day just pass me by! it's too special!=)
today,dadah & i celebrated our 47th month
together!this also marked that next month we'll
be celebrating our anniversary...=)
am i excited?! yep...SUPER!!!
cant wait actually!

anyway,i really loved this quote that mah friend
sent me last valentine's day,i also sent it to
mah dadah coz i love the message..here it goes:

There's no mistake so painful
that luv cant forgive...

There's no past so bitter
that luv cant accept...

and no hope left so little
that cant start all over again!=)

i love mah dadah soo much!!!
miss him terribly...=(
so, that would be all i guess!
ciao!=p

aSsssTigggg!!!=p

2005-02-11T23:47:00.000-08:00

cRazySeXyCoOL mOdE..hehehe!!!

-=*luv this pic (mah work of art!)*=-

btw, im on mah third friendster account
already...hahaha!!soo hapi...=)

got 4 accounts all in all..

dat's bcoz i opened up a

private account too...
*sigh*

cant stop mah addiction...

nope,not friendster..

its the world wide web actually...haha!!

and pictures...=)

cant help it,i luv takin pix!!!

after ol,that's not a crime...

and so is vanity,aight?! *wink,wink*

sigh =(

2005-02-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

REALITY BITES!! =(

quote:

"u have to let go when u feel u're hurtin too much

u have to give up when luv is not enuf

u have to move on when things aint like before

coz for sure...

there's someone out there who'll luv u

even more... =( "

if letting go was that easy, maybe a lot of people wouldnt
shed buckets of tears. cguro walang nagiging TANGA!
but truth is, it's HARD to let go. painfully hard!
*sigh*
am i in it agen...wen will the pain stop...
*sigh*
dont know what to do...
*sigh*
should i stay or should i go...
*sigh*
wish i have the strength to walk away...

iloveHIM!
*sigh*

hE waS cOoL mOviE rOx!!

2005-02-01T01:55:00.000-08:00

~HE WAS COOL!!!~

i soooo luv this movie!!! definitely two thumbs up!!! =p cool. romantic. sweet. funny. hilarious. worth watchin' over and over agen!=)

i got this summary from a friendster account especially made for pipz who love this movie... (thanx whoever u are!=p)

Adapted from a big-selling novel, He Was Cool tells a love story between a lively, brilliant girl (Jung Da Bin) and a handsome, rebellious boy (Song Seung Hun) from a well-off family. Though he shines with his great charm, he endures discrimination resulted from his deceased dad who died from AIDS. Han Ye-won (Jung Da-bin) is a plain-looking high school girl who thinks of herself as a princess living in a beautiful castle built on a flower-covered field. One day, she writes a derogatory message about a boy on the Web. It turns out that the boy, Ji Eun-seong (Song Seung-heon), is a handsome high school student who fights well and projects a mysterious lonely aura. Initially, the two squabble, but somehow they get to know each other, and cope with obstacles together before they finally (yes, finally) fall in love.

aside from "my sassy girl", this movie really really ROCKS!!! =p

have i ever said that Song Seung-heon was such a cutie?! well, there i said it! i fell in love with his character!=p

*sigh*

cant wait to watch this flick agen!=p

MeRci...=p

2005-01-28T23:38:00.000-08:00

caRlo & viviAn bids fareweLL!!=p

sadly,today was the last episode of a koreanovela entitled "lovers in paris". one of the cutest stories i've watched in primetime tv, aside from meteor garden. hehe!=p

i'm gonna miss L.I.P. a lot, coz i've been really hooked on it. but, all's well that ends well. besides, there's still "stairway to heaven". i grew fond of this series as well...=p

all i can say is....

"AJA!!!" =p

a diFfeReNt siDe oF mE...

2005-01-24T01:45:00.000-08:00

"iba to...ngayon lang ako nagcompose ng blog in filipino.
bkit?! wala.. paki mo!
Taray ba? kya nga "a different side of me" ang title nito eh...=p
glit ako! di ko kayang itago! bkit?! kc glit ako tlga...mapagtiis ako...
tahimik. di lumalaban.

MATAKOT KA...dahil GALIT ako!

plastic. mapagpanggap. nsa loob ang kulo.

come out of ur shell...
magpakatotoo ka!!!

nkakaawa ka pero...

paki ko sayo.. cno kba sa akala mo?!

pagod nko mging mbait. abuso na!
pagod nko tumahimik...

kng di ako iimik hhyaan ko lang

na tapakan ako.

kung di ako lalaban kwawa nman ako!

i deserve to be happy..

cia hindi!!!

di mko kilala kya

ingat ka!!!"

kapani-paniwala ba?!wala lang feel ko lang!
totoo man cnabi ko o hindi.. so wat!
kung may matamaan eh di totoo.
kung wala e di bhala ka mag icp..

pero totoo GALIT ako.
at hindi ako magpapatalo.

iba ko MAGALIT.

ingat ka...

masama ako.
salbahe ako.
MALDITAH ako!!!

bwahahahaha!!!

watch ur back!

*sigh*

now i can breathe!=p

mE = LiPgLoSs aDdiCT!!=p

2005-01-23T22:59:00.000-08:00

-=i LuV bLoOm Lip GLaZe!=-

Im soo addicted to lip gloss & lip balm!!!=p I planned to collect each and every kind there is, well, that is if I already have a high paying job! *wink* I already have a lot actually. I dont even know what to use sometimes… hehe!!! Mah dadah added another one in mah collection as a gift (he havent got the chance to buy me last Christmas). A Bloom Lip Glaze, which is actually, one of mah favorites, I already have one in Luscious, he got me a Lustful! =p
Other brands that rock are:
The Body Shop’s Born Lippy in Strawberry –soo delicious!Another fave!
Nivea Strawberry –gives a slight tint on the lips
Nivea Rose –gives a pinkish tint on the lips…
Nivea Care Gloss & Shine (mah sis have dis one) –right on the budget coz it colors and shines!=p
Penshoppe’s Fruity Pouty (forget the name actually) –one of mah first lip gloss, it has menthol so, it has a cool effect on the lips, perfect for summer!=p
Lastly, Chapstick!! (strawberry/ cherry) – no more chapped lips!!=p

And, as if that wasnt enough, I also bought myself a VMV Glow Lip and Cheek Tint in Debutante. It was ages ago, that I soo wanted to have one! So, when my cheek tint, ran out, I gotta have one! It was just as I expected…it gives a natural glow on the cheeks (think of yourself as blushing when you see your crush and he smiles at you, that effect!) and it gives a nice pinkish color on the lips with a glossy finish (pOuty Lips, yummy! =p)
-->(uR next!!)

Next in mah list is the Agatha Ruiz de la Prada Lip Balm, I’ve already tried it one time in a mall, and it’s soo sweet- tasting! Hehe!

* sigh * I wanna have all the lip glosses in the world!!! Haha! =p

HuHu...goTta LeT it BuRN!!=(

2005-01-21T01:41:00.000-08:00

BURN - - usher

It's gonna burn for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart
It's been a long time coming
But we done been fell apart
Really wanna work this out
But I don't think ya gonna change ya
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby
Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

[Chorus]
When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for you except but you
Hate the thought of him being with someone else
But you know that it's over
You know that it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

[Verse 2]
Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to
Got somebody here but I want you
Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself
Callin' him your name
tell me do you understand?
Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?
It's the way I feel
I know I made a mistake
Now it's too late
I know he ain't comin back
What I gotta do now
To get my shorty back
Ooo ooo ooo ooooh
Man I don't know what I'm gonna do
Without my boo!!!
You've been gone for too long
It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours
Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)
I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on
On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)

So many days, so many hours
I'm still burnin' till you return

"teLL me What im gOnNa dO
w/oUt mah bOo!"=(
*ARRRGHHHH!!!*

on ThE 17th daY... =p

2005-01-17T22:49:00.000-08:00

Ho- ho- ho!!! Today is the 17th! Hapi 3 years & 10th month anniversary to me and mah dadah!!!=p

Well, today also happens to be mah interview at Standard Chartered in Ortigas. Nervous no more, I kinda get used to the feeling… hehe! I wasn’t late, I was right on time at exactly 9 AM, but the interview didn’t start til 10. I don’t know if I passed or not, but I didn’t lose hope! Besides, its mah day!=p

After that mah dadah & I went to Greenhills. Just look around the tiangges and of course celfones!!=p

Then, we had to eat. You cant argue with a growling stomach, ayt! Pancake House’s Salisbury Steak is yummy enough to satisfy our hunger. Then before going home, we decided to drop by at Metropoint Mall, we looked for cd’s and stuff. Mah dadah bought me this book “To Kill a Mockingbird”, which I really wanted to read. I was excited to go home!=p

Long day…kinda tired! Gotta say ta- ta! =p

a waLk iN tHe cLoUdS...=)

2005-01-14T23:33:00.000-08:00

Im soo proud of myself today… I passed both the interview and exam at Mirof Recruitment firm. I was feeling giddy and all! I knew too that I made mah dadah soo proud! We headed to Glorietta at around 5. *arggh!!* my stomach is grumbling coz I haven’t eaten anything yet this day! Imagine that! Ive been too preoccupied with the interview thing that I haven’t felt hungry till that moment. Hah!!! I gotta eat big time! This ought to be a celebration, wehehe! So, Yellow Cab here we come!!!=p
Nothing beats Yellow Cab when mah dadah & I want to pig out!=p I knew that I really deserve Charlie Chan’s Chicken Pasta…haha! Forget about diet, I don’t need to anyway!=p
After a bit of shopping, we headed to my marz jam’s place, coz it’s mah inaanak julia’s birthday! There, we ate some more, haha!!!=p
It was a long day, but really it was a walk in the clouds!
Ciao!=)

me and maH bLoG!

2005-01-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

The moment I was able to personalize my blog, the more that I luv blogging!!!=p I havent got a clue about HTML and stuff, but thanx to thomoeda, blogskins and special mention to Kristinne, (thanx soo much for teaching me where to get skins and all that! *hugz*) I was able to change how mah blog looked. Im still puzzled about, u know, fixing mah blog and all that, but Im proud to say that Im learning little by little & enjoying it at the same time!
What I loved most about blogging is that I get to say what I wanna say. Express mah ideas and most of all practice mah writing skills, I will let u in on a little secret: Im a frustrated writer. Thats what I got from my love of reading. I dreamt of writing my own novel someday, when I got the time… hehe!!
Honestly, at first I was kinda hesitant to start blogging, why? Well, We know the Internet, your privacy is at stake, but when I started I just couldnt seem to stop… With mah blog you can see a part of me, This is ME!!! No pretensions, am not fakin in short This is the REAL me! And if you happen to read mah blog, I would like to say, “nice meeting you” coz through mah blog, it seems as if you met me actually it’s much even better…=p (I’m pretty boring kc… soo quiet in person!hehe)
That wud be all… ciao!=p

meH=RockeR cHiQ!!!=p

2005-01-03T17:29:00.000-08:00

Before new year, I tried taking pix wearing a cap and since then I got hooked!!=p
I was actually inspired by mah pretty sis jhonie to try it, coz her pix was too cute and fab!
I used to think that caps were not meant for me, but when I saw that mah pix were okay, I couldn’t get enough of it! Wehehe…
What I like is the style, you know, Über girly plus AstiG rocker equals ONE FINE CHIQ!!!=p
Just check out the pix above and see for ya’self!
Ciao!!!

new year wishes...=)

2005-01-02T01:39:00.000-08:00

QUOTE: Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past.
Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

-Brooks Atkinson

nice quote i've got there,aight?! well, gotta start the year
right. wna leave all the burdens, hatred, frustrations,
angst, just pretty much everything negative behind.=p

hope i wudnt spend the whole year cryin...=)

hope i wud change for good.=)

hope ppol wud learn to see the REAL me..=)

hope i'll gain new friends... TRUE friends...=)

hope ppol wud appreciate me...=)

wishin' more years for me and mah dadah!=)

wishin' for a fulfilling and a high payin job!=)

kipin mah fingers crossed.
here's to a great new year ahead! Cheers!=)

iF i aiN't Got U bEbE!!=(

2005-01-01T01:27:00.000-08:00

--hiDiNg MaH tEaRs!--

iF i aiN't GoT u

Some people live for the fortune Some people live just for the fame Some people live for the power yeah Some people live just to play the game Some people think that the physical thingsDefine what's within I've been there before but that life's a bore So full of the superficial

* Some people want it all But I don't want nothing at all If it ain't you baby If I ain't got you baby Some people want diamond rings Some just want everything But everything means nothing If I ain't got you *

Some people search for a fountain Promises forever young Some people need three dozen roses And that's the only way to prove you love them And in a world on a silver platter And wondering what it means No one to share, no one who truly cares for me

*

Some people want it all But I don't want nothing at all If it ain't you baby If I ain't got you baby Some people want diamond rings Some just want everything But everything means nothing If I ain't got youIf I ain't got you with me baby

Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing If I ain't got you with me baby

"tEars fELL LikE Rain"='(
i MIs Him sOo Bad...
caNt Take the Pain.... *aRrgH*

tHeO wAs OUT!! arghhh

2004-12-31T23:00:00.000-08:00

it was few hours before new year and i was totally pissed!!!
i must say that i'm not a huge fan of artista search shows..
but,i was hooked on star circle quest the moment i saw Theo Bernados...
He is sooo cute! He is so "bibo" especially during their dance number,
i was all smiles for him!=p
When the jurors have announced that Theo was "OUT"...
I was more than devastated..
I was sad...
I was mad...
I was furious!!!
why Theo...=(

Believe it or not, my tears fell...
it was new year's eve, and i'm
totally pissed!!!=(

*ARGGH!*

xMaS!=(

2004-12-28T16:39:00.000-08:00

This xmas has got to be the saddest one...Because i spent it in the hospital..
My brother was confined for severe allergy that he got from some food he ate.
One of the consolation though is that i get to spend it with my bebeh...He stayed at
the hospital with me and mah sister.

With that experience, i imagined what mah life would be when I'm married...
I get to wake up and see the man i love the most beside me *awww*

back aches aside, i wouldnt mind getting stuck in the hospital as long as
i'm with my guY!!=)

btw,merry christmas!(",)

ciao!=)

mS. sHopaHoLiC sTrikEs @ peOple aRe PeoPle

2004-12-24T16:10:00.000-08:00

~i LUv shoppin @ peOple aRe PeoPlE~

I'm quite addicted to sHopping at "people are people" coz there are a lot of faB finds in this store. It's really hard to pick just one outfit coz everything just seem to look nice. I cant pick a favorite among all the tops that i bought,but right now,i'm rily loving this lacy top i bought recently. it's soo sexy and feels comfy.

Lace tops are now making a comeback as i've observed,coz most of their new arrivals are made of lace... Layered tops are still hot as pancakes =)

*sigh*

cant wait til mah next shopping spree *wink*
ciaO.. =p

'yElloW caB' savEs the DaY!!=>

2004-12-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

>>great pizza,PROMISE!!<<

this day has got to be the worst day of mah life!!!
scratch dat,is there something like
"worst-est"???
that's exactly how i felt...
everything juz dont seem right...
i was soo tense at that darn interview..and boy,i never knew i wud do soo bad...!
mah guy and i left with a heavy heart and a growling stomach!;(

what do gurls typically do wen they're sad?
1. shopping
2. shopping
3.shopping! (haha)

another option?
- - FOOD - -

well, lemme juz say that i did shop, shop and shop! and boy,did i get soo many fab finds!!=)
*whew*
what really made my day was "Yellow Cab Pizza"
Their Hawaiian pizza was simply superb...
i also luv Charlie Chan Chicken Pasta... =) it's one of the best tasting pasta...
soo extraordinary,actually!You gotta taste it to believe me..
chicken, mushroom, roasted nuts>> sweet and SPICY!! wat more cud u ask for??
i cud blab all day long about this pasta,but words would not be enough!
A single order is soo bitin nga lang... (haha)
I'm soo 'matakaw' kc..

what else cud i say... yellow cab truly madly deeply made mah Day!!;p

cheers.. =)

tUrNinG kOrEan-slash-ChinEse =P

2004-12-19T20:42:00.000-08:00

- -datz meeh & one of mah idoLs ryT thuRR- -

one of mah frustrations is to be 'chinita'
why??
well,maybe bcoz chinitas are known to be cute,ayt?
last year,was the year of chinese telenovelas,it was last year wen meteor garden hit philippines by storm.. =p
we were soo hooked on it ryt?? i was one of this girls who wished i was Barbie Xu known as "shancai"...that same year,i discovered mah adoration of korean/ chinese girls...
well,i've always liked zhang zi yi...ever since!;)
after watching 'so close' however, i've been soo captivated by the beauty of Vicki Zhao Wei & Shu Qi... =p
they're mah idols,haha!! (aside from j'lo!)
wat i admire about koreans is their fab layered hair styles... (how did they get that huh!)
i've always wanted to have mah hair cut like those of Zhao Wei,how i Envy her!! *Huhu* =p
so,tell meh...(base on the photo above)
dont i luk like Zhao Wei?? (wishful Thinking) =p
ciao.... =p

haLter tOps & mini SkirTS.. ;)

2004-12-19T19:17:00.000-08:00

lately,ive had this certain liking for halter tops and mini skirts...haha...
maybe bcoz i luk gud wearing them... *wink,wink* just check out the pix and judge for urself... ;)
i used to be 'dyahe' about wearing mini skirts, coz its not kinda comfy,especially wen u're commuting..but heck..ryt now,i dont care...=)
just wearin' mah heart on my skirt... *wink,wink*
:D

miSs pHoToGeniC-- wehehe

2004-12-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

i soo luv pictures... i have lotz of 'em... whenever im going out, or have nothin to do, i take pictures... am i photogenic?? haha... mah friends say so... ya better see for urself... basta, im sooo addicted to pictures... ;p
those two pics at the top, they're mah newest pics...
--hella gorgeous-- *wink*

i UseD tO h8 WeEkEnds til...

2004-12-04T03:37:00.000-08:00

...i staRt watchin an anime called "Fruits Basket". iM quite fond of anime... i used to go gaga over ghost fighter and fushigi yuugi..
"Fruits Basket" is one cool anime too...the characters are sooooo CUTE!!! especially yuki...i just adore them, the story is quite kilig too,coz u never know if there will be a love angle... dat's why im so excited about the story!! i rily used to hate weekends ( as u know i'm soo hooked on 'lovers in paris') but rily... this anime rily makes my day! ;p
cant w8 til next saturday... *sigh*

'lovers in paris' aficionado

2004-12-02T14:17:00.000-08:00

to some, 'lovers in paris' may be just another koreanovela/ chinovela whatsoever!;p but,im soo hooked on it right now...the story is soo kilig and way funny at the same time! wat i luv most about it is that i get to see my dream destination for free... I've always wanted to see Paris! When im stil a kid, i've always dreamt of touring Europe...Watching 'lovers in paris' just remind me of that childhood dream...maybe, someday, i wouldn't be watching about paris anymore... maybe, just maybe, i'll be touring it soon...
see yah paris!!;p

missin' Baguio...

2004-11-28T02:47:00.000-08:00

Reminiscing about my stay in Baguio really makes me miss the place even more. My stay there feels just like home only with a bit of freedom and independence. Baguio definitely became one of my favorite places in the Philippines—with its nice weather, ambiance, spectacular views, amazing sunset, and most especially the warmth and hospitality of the people, you would really feel right at home. I can’t wait to be back actually. I keep on missing it especially if the weather here is brutally hot. When there are problems, I can’t help but miss Baguio and miss the feeling of just being there seems like there can never be problem at all. Even if the trip is kinda long, boring and tiring—I would definitely endure that just to be back again. And next time though, I wouldn’t forget my camera or better yet I wouldn’t be shy using my cell phone’s camera to take pictures of myself! :)